The Sentinel and all related characters are the property of Pet 
Fly Productions and UPN. No copyright infringement is 
intended.

This story is the property of the author.

I wrote this story right after I started watching The Sentinel, 
back before I really had an understanding of the show and the 
characters. Then, after watching the show for a while longer I 
began to realize that my take on Carolyn was probably a little 
skewed. I rewrote this story and posted it as ‘Changes’ and 
decided that this one would just remain on my hard drive for 
the rest of eternity.

Then my friend Cassie got sick and demanded fanfic. She was 
a recent Sentinel fan, like myself, so I sent her a bunch of my 
stories, including this one and Changes. She liked it, and while 
she agreed with me that it wasn’t 100% accurate, it was a fair 
take on the situation.

So here it is. My take on a Carolyn is a little more harsh than it 
was in Changes, but still understanding and I hardly portray 
her as the Wicked Witch of the West. It’s just another way of 
looking at it, I suppose. Besides, the ending has potential. 
Check the last line. I’m thinking of following up on that… 
<eg> Also, like I said, I wrote this back when I had seen only a 
few episodes, so some things aren’t accurate. It’s nothing that 
really takes away from the story, but it is something I’ll have to 
fix, sooner or later.

Ever notice that my introductions usually rival my stories for 
length?
_______

Jealousy



If she could be brought to admit it to herself - she was jealous.

It wasn't something she was proud of, but the fact remained. 
Carolyn Plummer was jealous of a college kid easily ten years 
younger than herself. And she hadn't the faintest idea why.

So this hyper, would-be flower-child had accomplished what 
she never had - getting through to James Ellison. So this kid 
had made Jim laugh more times in the first few weeks they'd 
known each other than Carolyn could remember in the entire 
time she'd known Jim. So this virtual stranger had earned Jim's 
trust in a matter of weeks, while it had taken Carolyn months.

And now she was thinking she'd never really had it after all.

Well, damn.

Okay, so she knew why.

She sighed and firmly closed her mind to all thoughts of 
jealousy, bitterness or resentment. She was a guest here. She 
hadn't seen Jim in more than a year - she hadn't seen his 
brother since their wedding. Simon and Daryl were there. She 
just wanted to get along with everyone and have a good time 
and so what if Blair Sandburg had proven that she was a lousy 
wife?

'I'm not being fair,' Carolyn told herself firmly. 'I'm not. 
Sandburg's never done anything to me. And who says I was a 
bad wife? Maybe there was a reason Jim and I never really 
clicked? Maybe we just weren't meant to be.

'And maybe I was a lousy wife.'

Carolyn all but growled and turned toward one of the paintings 
before anyone noticed the expression she knew was covering 
her face. The last thing she needed was to alienate Sandburg. 
That would definitely *not* go over well with this crowd. 
Simon liked the kid, Daryl practically worshipped him and 
Jim...

Well, damn. Jim adored Sandburg. Didn't take 20/20 vision to 
see that. Even Stephen thought the kid was great. And he was 
smart and funny and charming and God help her he had 
absolutely beautiful eyes.

And she couldn't get past the fact that it was him, not her, who 
had finally broken down the wall around Mr. Strong and Silent 
Type over there. She'd devoted a good portion of her life to Jim 
Ellison! And he trusted Sandburg more than her.

So was that what was bothering her? That Jim trusted 
Sandburg? 

It was more than that. Less than that. Stupid really but she 
couldn't get over it. Almost two years now and *still* it 
bothered her. God she needed a life.

Jim had trusted her. Of that Carolyn had no doubt. Jim Ellison 
was an intensely private man. If he didn't trust you, with his 
life and with his heart, then you never got anywhere near him, 
emotionally. And Carolyn had been about as close to him as it 
was possible to get. No Jim Ellison would never have married 
her if he didn't trust her.

So maybe he trusted Sandburg more?

She'd been shocked when Jim had turned against her, back 
during the Lash case. Twice, that had happened. The first time, 
when she accused Sandburg of being the leak, and the second 
time when Jim demanded vital forensics information that might 
have helped him track down Lash. Lash, the man who had 
taken Blair Sandburg as his next victim, right out of Jim's own 
home. She'd understood Jim's position, sort of. He took things 
*very* personally where his friends were involved. And a serial 
killer no less... But she'd still been hurt that Jim would stand 
with someone he'd only just met against the woman he'd once 
been married to. She'd grown used to Jim backing her up, no 
matter what.

Just another sign things had changed. Just another sign that 
she and Jim weren't an *and* any more. A fact quite rudely 
slammed home when she'd seen Jim emerge from Lash's 
hideout, carefully carrying the nearly unconscious form of his 
new partner. No more Carolyn and Jim. That was gone for 
good.

And the worst part? Jim didn't seem to notice. He didn't seem 
to realize that this new influence in his life was just a sign of 
how much further apart they were drifting. A sign that the 
chances of them getting back together were rapidly decreasing.

Carolyn blinked, startled. Where had that come from? She and 
Jim... Back together? Damned if it didn't sound like a good 
idea.

'So that's what this is all about. Carolyn, you're an idiot. You 
were pretty happy to get the divorce, as I recall. What's 
changed?'

Jim.

Simple answer, huh? Jim had changed. A lot. The  hard, 
intensely private man she had married was - well not exactly 
gone, but certainly Jim was less intense. In all ways. His arrests 
were up, his reprimands were down. His coworkers no longer 
tiptoed around him unless he was in a really bad mood, and 
she had even seen him flirting with a uniform over coffee one 
day! Jim had become what she'd wanted him to be. Happy. 
Outgoing. *Friendly.* And she had nothing to do with it.

The realization hit her harder than she expected and she caught 
her breath quickly. She caught a concerned glance from Jim - a 
man worried about a friend, nothing more - and smiled it off. 
What would she tell him, anyway?

It made sense, really. It explained why she was uncomfortable 
whenever she caught the two of them in a private joke or a 
deep conversation. It explained why she objected so 
strenuously to Sandburg being allowed to act as Jim's partner. 
It explained why she was so unreasonably annoyed to find the 
loft filled with  anthropology texts and what she could only 
assume were ceremonial statues of some sort.

Christ, here Jim was happy and secure and she was upset 
because it was due to someone else? 'Real mature Carolyn. 
Way to be supportive. Let's ignore all of the progress Jim's 
made toward becoming an actual human being - oh, and hey, 
while you're at it, maybe you can treat his best friend like dirt... 
No wonder Simon hasn't had the two of you working together 
for at least a year now.'

Well, this was just great. She'd been perfectly happy disliking 
Sandburg. Now she was going to have to go and give him 
credit. 

But first, first she was going to get away from this painting. 
She hoped to God it was Sandburg's because she didn't want to 
believe that any man she'd married could have such horrible 
taste.

She turned away and faced back toward the others. Stephen 
was talking, a mischievous smile on his face, and Sandburg 
was enthralled by whatever he was saying. Carolyn caught the 
appalled look on Jim's face even as Sandburg burst into 
laughter. Ah, trading embarrassing stories are we? Poor Jimmy.

Stephen was leaning back against the couch, a wide smile on 
his face, while Sandburg tried to get his laughter under control. 
Simon was carefully ignoring all of them, Daryl was trying to 
hide his smile behind his glass of soda and Jim was alternating 
between glaring at his brother and glaring at his roommate. 
Carolyn shook her head slightly with a slight smile. Good 
people. Even Sandburg. Her grinned widened as she strode 
across the room. Sandburg moved over to make room for her 
on the couch. "Ganging up on Jim? Come on, guys, that's 
hardly fair, now is it?"

Jim gave her a grateful glance and she wondered how many 
stories had been told while she was sulking. "Really, Simon, 
how could you not invite me? After all," she smiled sweetly as 
understanding dawned on Jim's face, "who better to dig up the 
dirt than an ex-wife? Stephen, Blair, anyone tell you about the 
time Jim tried to arrest a department store dummy?"

Jim groaned. Already into the story, Carolyn didn't bat an eye. 
'I miss you, Jim. A lot more than I used to. But I really like not 
being married to you anymore.

'And Sandburg does have beautiful eyes...'

________



end