Here is Greenwood is the property of its creators, none of 
which are me and all of whose names escape me at the 
moment. Suffice it to say, I wasn't fortunate enough to create 
these wonderful characters, just fortunate enough to get to play 
with them for a while.

This story is the property of the author.

Fair warning here, people. This story involves a relationship 
between two men. m/m, slash, shounen ai, yaoi, whatever you 
call it, that's what this is. Rated PG or PG-13 because nothing 
really happens. Just a peek inside Shiboru's head.
_____
________

A Winter Night's Musings



Shinobu lay against his pillow, chest heaving for breath, heart 
pounding in his chest. He shifted, and the sheets clung 
cloyingly to his sweat-sheened body, the blankets above them 
an insulating weight that did little to help him cool down. He 
contemplated kicking them away but shied away from the idea, 
mindful of the cold weather outside, and the malfunctioning 
heat inside the dorm. Better to be a little too warm than to get 
sick.

He stretched languidly, and rolled onto his side, one arm 
automatically wrapping around the sleeping boy beside him. 
Shinobu relaxed infinitesimally, molding himself against his 
lover. Mitsuru stirred in his sleep just enough to worm an arm 
around Shinobu's waist in return, and curl into the warmth and 
comfort his embrace provided. Shinobu tucked Mitsuru's head 
beneath his chin and allowed himself the slightest of smiles, 
safely hidden in the dark. He loved the way Mitsuru responded 
to him, even in his sleep, with absolute trust and affection. It 
warmed him, and reassured him that here, in their relationship 
at least, Mitsuru was not trying to be a stranger.

There were footsteps in the hallway as someone made their 
way from the bathroom back to their dorm, and Shinobu 
listened as a door just down the hall opened and then closed 
quietly. He hadn't heard them make their way to the bathroom 
only a few minutes earlier and mentally scolded himself for not 
paying closer attention. The walls were thin in this old building. 
It was hard to have a conversation without being overheard, let 
alone - well, let alone what they had been doing. Shinobu 
usually tried to keep an ear open for anyone passing by, but 
sometimes it was hard to pay attention to anything besides the 
firm body beside his, the soft touches and gentle hands... that 
beautiful voice...

He smirked at himself *and* his one-track mind. If he kept this 
up, he'd end up waking Mitsuru. 'Sleep now,' he told himself. 
'We can always do *that* again later.'

A particularly fierce gust of wind roared past the window, 
rattling the glass in the panes, and he grimaced silently. It was 
almost winter break now, only two days left before the other 
boys would be heading home, and the weather was worse than 
it usually was. He dreaded the thought of going out into that 
tomorrow morning and spared himself a moment of illogical 
desire, wishing it was already vacation and that he could simply 
stay where he was, warm beneath the blankets, wrapped in 
Mitsuru's embrace. But it was useless to wish for impossible 
things. Winter break would come soon enough and *then* he 
could stay in bed as long as he pleased. Sleeping or not.

On the far side of the room, beside the door, two bags were 
already packed, containing the clothing and other necessities 
they'd both need over the break. They would be spending the 
time at Shinobu's home - one of them anyway. His apartment in 
Tokyo went unused for most of the year, but was a more than 
suitable place to live. Since Mitsuru was so determined to 
avoid his family, and Shinobu would sooner slit his own throat 
than willingly subject himself to quality time with his father and 
sister - and the prospect of splitting up for even the duration of 
a school vacation was an unpleasant one - he'd suggested the 
use of his apartment, and Mitsuru had agreed enthusiastically.

One of these days, Shinobu decided, he'd have to do something 
about this nonsense idea Mitsuru had about distancing himself 
from his family. He'd seen how much Mitsuru was loved there, 
but still the boy insisted on viewing himself as a stranger. 
Somehow, he'd gotten the idea into his head that because he 
was adopted his parents were obligated to care for him, and 
that as soon as he was old enough to be on his own that 
obligation would be ended. It was ridiculous, honestly, and 
even Shinobu, who'd met his family only a few times, knew 
better. But then, that was Mitsuru. For someone so wonderful, 
he seemed to have a dismally low opinion of himself. And 
those rumors about gangs didn't help any. Shinobu'd like to 
have a chat with the fool who'd come up with *that* particular 
bit of gossip.

After all, it was hard enough getting through to Mitsuru at 
times as it was. It had taken Shinobu months to dig deep 
enough beneath the layers Mitsuru had built around himself and 
his heart and find a way to convince him that their friendship 
would not be a wasted one. Even so, it had been a while before 
Mitsuru had truly been willing to trust him. And even longer 
before...

The warm body beside his, the arms wrapped around his waist, 
the soft hair beneath his cheek, the strong heartbeat against his 
chest, all were symbols of a prize long fought for and hard 
won. Becoming lovers was not something Shinobu had planned 
on, but as their friendship grew, as their trust for each other 
expanded, it had come to the point where they not only trusted 
each other with their minds, but with their hearts as well. And 
as their love for each other grew, so did their need, until one 
quiet spring night more than a year ago, it had all made sense 
and they'd chosen to take the step beyond friendship. Shinobu 
didn't regret an instant of it. He'd sensed in Mitsuru the same 
inner strength that he himself possessed, and beyond that, a 
kinship, a shared... state of being, he supposed. Words never 
did fit what he sensed through his abilities, and they failed 
miserably in trying to describe the depth of feeling he felt from 
and for Mitsuru. He'd known, on first meeting, that they could 
each come to be what the other needed. At the time he'd been 
fighting for a friend, someone he could trust, share himself 
with, without fear of being hurt, rejected or punished. Growing 
up with a psychotic for an older sister had made him wary of 
letting *anyone* too close, but what he'd seen in Mitsuru had 
convinced him to finally open himself up. Mitsuru had proven 
himself worthy of the trust he'd been given - worthy of so 
much more, in fact, that Shinobu at times feared he wouldn't be 
able to give his magnificent lover everything he deserved. He'd 
have worried more if he didn't know Mitsuru often felt the 
same way. 

'What a pair we are,' he thought fondly. 'All our problems, 
combined together. It's amazing we ever managed to stop 
tripping over our feelings and *do* something about them.'

He smiled contentedly, and shifted a little, delighting in the feel 
of warm, smooth skin gliding gently against his own.  Maybe 
he'd wake Mitsuru after all.


end