The Mighty Ducks and all related characters are the property 
of  Walt Disney. No copyright infringement is intended. No 
profit is being made.

This story and all original characters are the property of the 
author.

A few months back, the Mighty Ducks discussion forum got 
into a debate about why Nosedive didn't go to school. Just out 
of curiosity, I checked the California state law, and that's 
where this story comes from. All the information about 
education requirements comes form the 1988 and 1991 
editions of the World Book Encyclopedia.

This is completely pointless. I just wrote it cause I wanted to.
________

School Daze


"Duke, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a second."

Duke l'Orange grunted non-committally, still hunched over his 
first cup of coffee for the day. Wildwing spared him an amused 
glance. Duke was by no means a morning person under the 
best of circumstances, despite the fact that he made a habit of 
getting up early. Today was one of the worst days, though, the 
ones that came once or twice every month or so. Wildwing 
knew that Duke had taken off without anything more than a 
"Gonna be gone for a couple days" almost four days ago and 
had finally dragged himself back into the Pond at two o' clock 
that morning. From the look of him he hadn't slept at all while 
he'd been gone, and Wildwing didn't much want to think about 
exactly what the older man had been up to while he was gone. 
Dive had accompanied Duke on two or three of his shorter 
trips, but Wildwing had respected the mentor/apprentice thing 
they had going and hadn't asked Dive any details. He knew that 
Dive would have told him had he asked, despite the fact that 
he'd promised Duke he'd keep his training as secret as it was 
possible to keep it in the close quarters in which they lived. 
One day maybe he would ask Dive just what was going on, but 
for now he trusted that Dive knew what he was getting into, 
and that Duke was sufficiently fond of living that he wouldn't 
dare endanger Dive's safety.

"Are you even awake?" Wildwing didn't really expect a reply as 
he crossed to the refrigerator and found the last can of V8. He 
spared a half a second to wonder where the rest of it went to 
since every one was of the opinion that he was the only person 
on this planet crazy to actually drink a tomato in a can, but as 
always it was a curiosity which was rather low on his list of 
priorities. And right now... "Duke?"

"M'wake, Wing. Wassamatter?"

Wildwing smirked. "Late night?"

"Late week." Duke dragged his gaze away from the life-giving 
cup of coffee and studied Wildwing for a second. "Oh God 
you're up to something, aren't you?"

Wildwing grinned as he sat at the table across from Duke. 
"'Fraid so. I need your opinion on something. Maybe your 
help?"

"What kind of help?" Duke asked warily.

Well, he's awake enough to be suspicious. "It's about Dive."

"Huh-uh," Duke said flatly. "No way. I am *not* getting mixed 
up in any more of that brother stuff. Last time I was caught in 
the crossfire between you two I nearly lost my head."

"No crossfire. Well, not yet anyway. I'm not sure how Dive's 
gonna react."

"React to what?"

Wildwing paused a moment, considering how to phrase it, then 
gave a mental shrug and went for it. "School."

"Come again?"

"School, Duke. You remember? That place you went to for 
twenty years where they taught you stuff you didn't want to 
know and made you miss all the best hol-v shows?" 

Duke blinked. "You want to send Dive back to school?"

Wildwing smirked. "So you *do* have a functioning brain 
before noon. Tanya was sure it worked on some kind of timer."

Duke spared him his usual acidic glare that had long since 
ceased to faze any of his teammates and turned back to his 
coffee. "Why? We've been on Earth for almost a year and this 
has never come up before."

"Because I never really thought of it. So he didn't finish 
primary. So what? Neither did Mallory. And I'm not in a 
position to talk because I haven't finished secondary myself - 
had barely even started it when the invasion came." Wildwing 
shrugged. "Frankly, we've had other things on our minds, you 
know?"

"But," Duke prompted.

"But, some guy from some government agency popped up two 
days ago and started giving Phil the third degree. Apparently 
California state law requires all citizens to attend classes 
between the ages of six and fifteen."

"So?" Duke asked, unconcerned. "Dive's seventeen."

"Yeah, but he didn't complete high school." Wildwing 
grimaced. "Their system of education is so different from ours 
that it was hard to find a compromise, especially since we have 
twenty-two years required schooling while they only have nine. 
The long and short of it is, according to the Department of 
Education, California state law, and this guy, Turner, Dive is 
under eighteen and he hasn't completed high school. Therefore, 
he has to go back to school."

"For how long?" Duke asked worriedly. "I mean, according to 
Puckworld law he's got another nine years to go."

"Actually, he's got six. Well, five and a half. He skipped a 
few levels in Second and Third Rank. That's where the 
compromise comes in. Primary is all that's going to count - 
they'll treat Secondary like college and not require it."

"So Fourth Rank Primary is high school?"

"Uh-huh. Since Dive's already completed more than three 
levels of the Rank, they're only requiring he complete the last 
year. It's mostly basic stuff - the education system on this 
planet is horrible. No wonder there aren't any intelligent bad 
guys."

"How basic?" Duke asked curiously.

"Two English courses, a math course which will be determined 
at a later date. Considering the classes he's already taken back 
on Puckworld, Turner thinks it'll be Economics or Calculus 
instead of the remedial stuff. Then, a course in word history, a 
course in American history, a biology course which is little 
more than basic first aid, and a physical sciences course."

Duke shook his head. "How's he gonna do this, Wing? School 
starts here in September, right? What about hockey season?"

"Well, it's gonna work like this..."

****

Dive studied the two older men before him skeptically, before 
giving in to a resigned and somewhat exasperated sigh. "They 
couldn't have bugged me about this *last* year?"

Duke grinned. "And let you get this over and done with? 
Where would be the fun in that?"

Dive glowered at him and slumped in his chair. "I guess it's not 
that bad. On Puckworld I'd be stuck in school till I was almost 
*your* age."

"I'm *not* that old," Duke protested.

"Right. And Mallory's not a control freak." Dive suddenly 
grinned impishly. "And Wildwing's not an overbearing mother-
hen and Tanya's not the most scatter-brained person in 
existence and Grin's not so far out there we can't even *see* 
him most of the time."

Wildwing had rolled his eyes at the 'mother-hen' crack and 
interjected. "And you're not an impulsive adrenaline junkie?"

"Exactly."

Wildwing cast Duke a long-suffering look before fixing his 
little brother with a steady glare. "Are you ready to hear this or 
are you going to keep cracking jokes until it's time for class to 
start?"

The reference to class earned  him a glower of his own, but 
Dive sighed and nodded and gave in. "Shoot."

Quickly Wildwing filled him in on the California State laws and 
what Jay Turner, the representative from the Department of 
Education had told him. "It comes down to seven credits," 
Wildwing finally said, "assuming you test for the rest of the 
credits."

"Test?"

"Yup. You're not from an American school system so 
technically none of the classes on Puckworld are transferable. 
They're going to test you on stuff like math and language skills 
to determine if you'll be allowed to count your time on 
Puckworld. I was assured you were pretty much guaranteed to 
pass."

"So why do this at all?" Nosedive asked. "Can't I just test out 
of all my classes?"

Wildwing shook his head. "No. There is a way to do it, but you 
wouldn't pass because it's culturally sensitive. If you're not 
familiar with American cultural, history and literature, it's 
almost impossible for you to pass. You need the history and 
literature classes and by the time you finish them, you'll be 
eighteen anyway so why bother?"

Dive glanced at his brother sideways. "You're only going to 
make me go until I'm eighteen?"

"No," Wildwing said firmly. "I'm going to make you go until 
you finish the classes. And then I'm going to get on your back 
until you sign up for classes at university."

Dive huffed and crossed his arms. "You'll drive me crazy until I 
do it, too."

Wildwing grinned. "Count on it, bro."

"What about hockey? I'm not gonna bail on the team."

"You don't have to," Duke assured him. "Wing worked that 
out, too."

Nosedive arched an eyebrow. "Oh? And when, pray tell, dear 
brother, were you planning on letting me in on this? I'm 
beginning to get the impression that the only reason you did 
tell me was because you needed me to show up for 
attendance."

"Actually, I was thinking we could just strap a fake beak and a 
blond wig onto Phil," Wildwing said thoughtfully. "I figure five 
bucks ought to be enough to convince him to do it."

Dive grabbed the throw pillow off his chair and made as if to 
throw it at Wildwing. Duke rolled his eyes and wondered what 
had ever possessed him to go along with this. It wasn't like 
Wildwing had actually needed him for this. More likely 
Wildwing was covering his bases for later on when Dive got 
fed up with homework and exams and was looking for 
someone to blame. Then Wing could just sic the kid on him.

"They're willing to make allowances, seeing as how you're 
from another planet and all that. You can start classes this 
summer," Wildwing ignored Dive's objection and went on 
without pause. "That way, by the time Hockey season starts, 
you'll have a head start on the work and all the traveling and 
games won't interrupt too much."

"And missions to save the Earth from Saurian conquest," Duke 
added.

Dive nodded in approval somewhat reluctantly. "I have to go 
to Anaheim High? Mookie tells horror stories about that 
place."

"Home schooling."

If anything, Dive looked more depressed. "That makes *you* 
my teacher?"

"Not really. As your legal guardian-"

"Since when?"

Wildwing gave him wry glance. "Since I lied to the US 
government, that's since when. Now hush. That means I'll have 
to supervise the tests, but other than that, I'm sure you can 
handle reading a few texts on your own. Tanya's already 
volunteered to help with the science and math courses. And 
you know the two of us will help you whenever you need it."

"hmph." Dive slid sideways in the chair so his legs swung over 
one armrest, while he head rested against the other. "I don't 
like this at all, just so you know."

"Really, Dive. It's only a year," Wildwing pointed out. "Less, 
depending on how quickly you complete the courses. On 
Puckworld it would be six years."

"Yeah. *Make* me feel better."

"You like school."

"No. I like stuff you learn at school. School itself I hate. I 
always have hated school and I always will hate school." He 
sighed. "At least it's home schooling. When do I start?"

"Week after next. As soon as Turner gets us the books and 
exams you'll need."

"It's only July!"

"Classes back home are year round anyway."

"Yippee-ki-yay."

Wing resisted the urge to roll his eyes as he stood. "I hate to 
break it to you, but you don't have much of a choice in this. It 
is - cliched as this may sound - the law." He tousled his 
brother's hair as he walked by and out of the room. You've got 
a week and a half of vacation left. I expect you'll be spending it 
at Captain Comics?"

"Man, you ain't even gonna *see* me between now and then."

Wildwing grinned widely. "And if I told you that was my 
dream come true?"

That time Dive *did* throw the pillow.



End