The Mighty Ducks and all related characters are the property of Walt 
Disney Corporations. No copyright infringement is intended.

This takes place (rather obviously) during the Ducks first Christmas 
on Earth. It’s short and silly and utterly pointless, but I was stuck on 
a plane for three hours last Christmas with nothing else to do. 
________

Deck the Halls



“Deck the halls with boughs of holly! fa la la la la la la la la!”

Nosedive and Duke exchanged a confused glance. “Fa la?” Duke 
echoed.

Nosedive shrugged. “Hey, Phil!”

Their manager, Phil Palmfeather poked his head into the room. 
“What’s up, guys?”

“What was that?” Duke asked.

“What was what?”

“That… singing.”

“If you can call it that,” Nosedive muttered.

“It’s a Christmas Carol,” Phil said indignantly. “’Deck the Halls.’”

“Christmas carol,” Duke said. “Oh, of course.” 

Nosedive sighed. “Phil.”

“Yeah?”

“We’re from another planet, remember?”

“Yeah.”

“So what makes you think that we know what a Christmas Carol is?”

“Oh. Yeah. Right. Okay. You want the whole story?”

“I’m gonna regret this, but yes.”

“Great!” Phil threw himself onto the couch so hard Duke had to fight 
back a wince. “Put that game down and pay attention. It’s a very old 
story, dating back almost two thousand years. There came upon a 
winter’s night that a baby was born. This baby’s birth was heralded 
by angels and the stories spread rapidly that the kid was supposed to 
be the Messiah.”

“Messiah?”

“Son of God,” Phil elaborated.

“Like Hercules?”

“Not quite,” Phil sighed. “The kid wasn’t half human like Hercules, 
he was just a god. That’s what the Christians thought anyway. Well, 
they weren’t Christians back then, that came later - okay, so, this kid 
was born and all through his life he did miraculous things. He healed 
the sick and crippled, gave the blind back their sight, brought the 
dead back to life. You know, typical Messiah stuff.

“Anyway, a lot of the people in charge were pretty unhappy with this 
guy - they called him Jesus, by the way - because they thought he was 
a threat to their power. So they had him killed. Ever since, his 
followers have celebrated his birth on Christmas. See?” Phil smiled at 
them, proud of his story-telling.

Duke and Nosedive weren’t impressed. “How do you kill the son of a 
god?” Nosedive asked skeptically. “One would think that by the very 
definition he would be immortal.”

“He was only in human form,” Phil explained. “The human body 
died, but his mind and soul went on to heaven. He suffered so he 
could understand us and show how much he loved us.”

“Ah.”

“You still don’t get it, do you?”

“Haven’t a clue, Phil. What do Christmas Carols have to do with 
anything?”

“Carols are part of the celebration! Come here,” Phil ordered. 
Exchanging a quick shrug and a ‘what else do we have to do’ look, 
Duke and Nosedive followed. Phil led them into the main room, 
which had undergone drastic redecoration since they had last seen it. 
“Phil?” Dive said finally.

“Yeah?”

“Why are there little lights everywhere?” 

“Christmas lights,” Phil explained. “Decorations.”

“Ah. And the candles?”

“Same.”

“I can see that,” Dive said calmly. “But, Phil?”

“Mmm-hmm?”

“Why the hell is there a tree in the living room?”

Phil sighed. “Hopeless.”
________ 


End