The Mighty Ducks

Memorable Quotes

Zap Attack

"And how are you going to get it to the Ducks?"
"Simple. They’re in the book, aren’t they?"
-Seige and Dragaunus

"Press 2 if you’re being menaced by a power-crazed megalomaniac bent on world conquest."
-Mighty Ducks Answering Machine

"That’s power steering!"
-Grin

"We’ll just have to stop them."
"That’s not much of a plan."
"You got a better one?"
-Wildwing and Nosedive

"That does it. My inner peace has been disturbed enough for one day!"
-Grin

"Somebody needs to go back to Driver’s Ed!"
"This is a tactical disaster!"
-Nosedive and Mallory

"What do you need all these squirt guns for anyway, dude?"
"We got to save the world, Thrash."
"You guys feeling okay, or what?"
-Thrash and Nosedive

"It’s time to raise your consciousness. If you do not find enlightenment and aid your fellow man, I’m gonna rearange your face."
-Grin

"Terrific! Now we have a turbo-charged King Kong on our hands!"
-Nosedive

"Giant energy monsters, killer satellites - why is all this stuff happening at once?"
"Smells like sweeps week!"
-Tanya and Nosedive

MicroDucks

"This is the best the world can send against me? A bunch of Ducks?"
-Dr. Droid

"Is it Dr. Droid?"
"No. I think it’s just some goofy guy in a clown suit."
-Mallory and Nosedive

"My ingenius new thermal bomb will turn Anaheim into hollandaise sauce!"
-Mindbender

"You morons are no match for my invincible brain power!"
"Grin. Nail him."
(wham) "Mind over mind."
-Mindbender, Wildwing and Grin

"He was a robotics engineer who replaced most of his body with mechanical parts."
"What, was he mangled in some kind of horrible lab accident?"
"No. I just think he got a kick out of it."
-Tanya and Mallory

"Wildwing, does the phrase ‘walking into a trap’ mean anything to you?"
-Tanya

"Wow! This is incredible. I mean we might keep shrinking until we reach subatomic level! Ahh, I mean that’s just a theory."
"Oh man, this is gonna put a major crimp in my social life"
-Tanya and Nosedive

"Half my team is leaving - half my team is shrinking! It can’t be! There’s no money in kid’s underwear!"
-Phil

"We can’t just sit around and do nothin!"
"Works for me."
-Nosedive and Grin

"Grin have you ever driven this thing before?"
"Only in my mind."
"I was afraid of that!"
-Nosedive and Grin

"You guys distract it. I’ll get the chip."
"Yeah. No problem. That’s cool. Piece of cake. Boy I hope my life insurance is paid up."
-Tanya and Nosedive

"Are you in trouble?"
"Only if you call being attacked by a kill-crazed robot trouble!"
"We gotta help them stop that robot!"
"At this size? What are we supposed to do, tickle it?"
-Tanya, Wildwing and Nosedive

"I am one with the Universe."
"You picked a great time to mellow out on us, Grin!"
"I am one with the Universe. And you are one with my fist! (Slam) Nothing like spiritual living."
"And a good right hook!"
-Grin and Nosedive

"Just like a duck to fall for a decoy!"
-Dr. Droid

"Yo, Tanya. Why’d you tell Wildwing to cross the wires?"
"An improvement on Droid’s engineering. The ray should instantly return us to normal."
"And if it doesn’t?"
"Then I’m afraid we’ll kind of be blown to bits."
"Oh. Now she tells us!"
-Nosedive and Tanya

"Hey I found him. Most of him anyway. Guy seems to have lost his head. heh heh."
-Duke

The First Face Off

"Lucy! I’m home!"
-Nosedive

"I want to talk about Ducks."
"Call their PR agent."
-Klegghorn and Phil

"You’re talking about the most totally righteous Duck that ever quacked. Flat out."
-Nosedive

"I hear it tastes like chicken."
-Siege

"So I said, ‘Insurance? Who needs it?’"
-Puckworlder

"The citizens of Puckworld didn’t know what hit ‘em! His armada destroyed the Duck cities, terrorized the population. I mean, we’re talking serious hostile takeover, bub."
-Phil

"What happened next?"
"What else? He conquered the planet."
-Klegghorn and Phil

"She was so good, she actually knew how to set a timer on the VCR!"
-Phil

"And the last member of the team was a guy named Grin. He was so strong, he could bend steel just by looking at it."
-Phil

"Pain is an illusion. An illusion that really really hurts!"
-Grin

"Canard had his strike force. Five commandos - and one kid brother."
-Phil

"You’re the bait, old pal. You’re the decoy. Remind me to do you a favor sometime, Canard."
-Wildwing

"I told you to throw the switch, not press the button!"
"Switch, button - what’s the dif?"
"About nine minutes of escape time!"
-Tanya and Mallory

"Come on, baby bro - punch it!"
-Wildwing

"Release the worm!"
-Dragaunus

"It kinda looks like Puckworld."
"Yeah, but with better weather."
-Wildwing and Mallory

"Wiener World. You suppose that’s the name of this place?"
-Wildwing

"What are you, man, some kind of mutants?"
"No. We’re just ducks from another universe."
"Alien talking ducks? Cool!"
"Are you like, the first flank of a hideous invasion that’s gonna, like, take over the world?"
"Negative hammer! We just wanna, you know, check out some comics."
-Thrash, Mallory, Mook and Nosedive

"Careful! It could be a high-powered disintegrator!" (splash)
"They must have some interesting wars on this planet."
-Tanya and Wildwing

"Why not? I don’t have nearly enough aggravation in my life."
-Phil

"This isn’t hockey! It’s a demolition derby!"
-Mallory

"I suddenly realized I had a gold mine on my hands! Hockey playing alien ducks! The fast food tie-ins alone would be worth a fortune!"
-Phil

"Unfortunately their contract allowed them to use all the profits to build a headquarters underneath the Pond. My lawyer missed that one. He’s making hot dogs now."
-Phil

"We need a master computer to help us search for Dragaunus."
"I can whip one up, but it’ll take time. With this planet’s technology, maybe a couple of years."
-Wildwing and Tanya

"I had to hire a team of ducks! Next time wombats - they’re easier to train."
-Phil

"Fascinating Phil. By the way, Mr. Spock called. He wants his phaser back!"
-Klegghorn

"Who are you weirdoes?"
"Don’t you guys ever watch hockey?"
"Nah. But we’ll be happy to put you turkeys on ice!"
"Hey, that’s Ducks, you cretins!"
-Mugger, Mallory and Duke

"You wouldn’t want to disturb my inner tranquillity. Would you?"
-Grin

"There’s a new sheriff in town and he’s wearing feathers!"
-Nosedive

"Gotta be some way I can make this pay. I know! Official Mighty Ducks Secret Headquarters Tour! Ten bucks a head!"
"You lead a very rich fantasy life, Phil."
-Phil and Duke

"Listen, I gotta sue someone tomorrow morning. Come on!"
-Phil

"I don’t feel so good. Hey! We can make some Mighty Duck airsick bags!"
-Phil

"Yeah right. This place is just crawling with evil."
-Phil

"I’m going to die! No! We’re gonna go get a bigger ship now, right? Right?"
-Phil

"We’ll have to get to the cockpit."
"That’ll mean engaging Dragaunus and his goons!"
(transporter)
"Am I psychic or what?"
-Wildwing and Mallory

"Guys you won’t believe this."
"What now?"
"Well, seems that we’re sorta gonna crash."
"What?"
"Well we kinda destroyed the main engines. Little -heh - miscalculation."
"Oh man. Somebody get me a donut. Does she always have to blow something up?"
-Tanya, Mallory, Wildwing and Nosedive

"Those Ducks should be using you for a hockey puck!"
-Klegghorn

Puck Hard

"We’re just gonna do a little shopping, we’ll do a little browsing, shmoose over a double late…"
"Hey, I wasn’t hatched yesterday, Phil. You got an angle going, don’t ya?"
"Listen booby, that sports dinner tomorrow is very important. And frankly, you guys, you are a fashion disaster."
"Hey I happen to be wearing the very latest in rebellious youth culture wear, okay? And Grinster… He just really likes going around in his pajamas."
-Phil and Nosedive

"Say, y’all fixin’ to fight the forces of evil this fine day?"
"Yeah. We’re in a life and death struggle with Phil’s fashion sense."
-Chameleon and Nosedive

"Like my great grandpappy always said: ‘That which does not kill you makes you stronger.’"
"That is the dumbest thing I ever heard."
-Chameleon and Grin

"You redecorated the place nicely, Mallory."
-Wildwing

"All right .What the heck was that all about, huh?"
"It’s Tanya’s new holotarget generator. It’s a way of testing the new multi-puck launcher. And your reflexes."
"Give me that!"
"Why? Want some more target practice?"
"No. But the next time Nosedive puts worms in my boots I’m gonna give him the shock of his life!"
"Why’re you pointing that thing at me! I thought he was gonna eat the worms!"
-Duke, Wildwing, and Mallory

"Come on, guys! Wildwing told you to help clean up my lab!"
"Hey, we did help clean it up!"
"Shoving the debris under a throw rug does not constitute ‘cleaning up.’"
-Tanya and Duke

"The elevator’s not working."
"Yeah, Tanya had another one of her bright ideas. She turbo charged the darn thing!"
-Wildwing and 'Mallory'

"I want to see a permit for that elevator!"
-Klegghorn

"I can’t do this. Suits and ties cloud my aura!"
-Grin

"Stand back and watch the kid at work."
-Nosedive

"If this is your secret headquarters, I gotta tell you, I’m underwhelmed."
-Klegghorn

"If there’s one thing I despise, it’s hockey. I’m allergic to the accursed sport."
-Wraith

"Hey! Watch it with that Mask! I’m crawling as fast as I can!" (pause) "Holy donuts! What’s that?"
"A quantum fusion generator."
"You got a permit for that thing?"
-Klegghorn and Wildwing

"Nice work, partner!"
"Don’t think that cuts you any slack about the building permits, pal."
-Wildwing and Klegghorn

"You wouldn’t want to disturb my inner peace and tranquillity, would you, Phil?"
-Grin

"What kind of defense system?"
"You don’t want to know."
"Come on. How bad could it - be?"
(Intruders. Intruders. Exterminate.)
"I take it you don’t have permits for those either?"
-Klegghorn and Wildwing

"This is some great security system you got! Do me a favor next time? Just get a dog!"
-Klegghorn

"I fear we are destined to buy clothes at this place."
"Grin, no matter what happens we won’t let him talk us into anything, cool?"
-Grin and Nosedive

"I don’t get it? How did he do this?"
"My fashion will was too weak."
-Nosedive and Grin

"You gentlemen look so good you could join a circus."
-Phil

"Ducks rock!"
-Duke

"You’re busted!"
-Klegghorn

"Well, we were a little pooped, what with saving the world and everything!"
-Tanya

"The next time the world needs saving, try contacting the proper authorities for a change!"
-Klegghorn

The Final Face-Off

"Watch me, Geekasaur."
-Wildwing

"Why would Dragaunus want to super-charge the dimensional gateway?"
"Cause he’s a big goofy lizard who likes doing evil stuff?"
-Tanya and Nosedive

"Captured three times in one episode. That’s gotta be a record!"
-Wildwing

"Think we’ll hear from those creeps again?"
"That depends. Have we been renewed for another season?"
-Klegghorn and Nosedive

Take Me to Your Leader

"The duckie is airborne!"
-Chameleon

Power Play

"That’s it folks. Grin’s taken up residence at Wacky Acres!"
-Nosedive

"How would you like to annihilate the so-called ‘Mighty Ducks?"
"I dunno. But I’d sure like to clobber them!"
-Dragaunus and Strazinski

"That’s the first time the boards ever checked me!"
-Wildwing

"Hello? Hello, Minimal Insurance? I’m just checking to see if my premium’s paid up?"(dodges flying rubble) "No, no, no, no. No special reason."
-Phil

"Get a grip on your synapses bud! The only thing we’re gonna be making contact with is the end of his fists!"
-Nosedive

"Yo, Grin.This is no time for a flashback!"
-Nosedive

"So. You seek enlightenment the hard way."
-Grin

"You’re racking up some seriously bad karma, Stanley."
-Grin

"You saved my life. Why?"
"It is my way. I could never harm a fellow hockey player." (crash) "Oops."
-Strazinski and Grin

"You think that thing has inner good, Grinster?"
"No."
"How can you be sure?"
"It doesn’t play hockey."
-Nosedive and Grin

"He’s the only one of you bird-brains that makes any sense!"
-Strazinski

"I’m guessing the bloom is, uh, off the lotus."
-Nosedive

"Oh, no! It’s heading straight for those oil tanks! I hate to say this, guys, but if it sets the rest of those tanks off the resulting explosion could charbroil Anaheim!"
"So, you think San Diego needs a hockey team?"
-Tanya and Nosedive

"Man, that guy’s goofier than you, Grin."
-Nosedive

"Hockey works in mysterious ways."
-Grin

The Human Factor

"Oh, right in the Mask!"
-Wildwing

"My phone psychic said it would be a bad day!"
-Wraith

"Well, well. Browsing for worms?"
-Klegghorn

"Every time we save the world that guy yells at us! Humans are such a bunch of people."
-Nosedive

"They should be confined, studied. We must learn what makes them tick. In the name of Science, we must subject these wierdoes to a serious of extremely painful tests!"
-Praetorius

"Now they want to use us as guinea pigs?!"
"They just don’t understand us."
"Huh-uh, big bro, we’re talking mega, jumbo, jerko-supremes with extra cheese!"
"Boy, did you get up on the wrong side of the nest this morning."
-Nosedive and Wildwing

"I’ll say this about planet Earth; it certainly is a beautiful place."
"Yeah, maybe. But I could certainly do without the lame-os who hang here."
-Mallory and Nosedive

"Oh great here it comes. They’re probably gonna tar and defeather us for disturbing the boredom!"
-Nosedive

"Me and the missus at the boredom house? This place is gonna give me brain rot!"
-Nosedive

"We’re stranded in the land that time forgot!"
"Totally. But they’ve got a rippin’ arcade man!"
"All righski! I haven’t played Space Mashers in a week!"
"See, Dive? Not all humans are bad."
"Hey, who’re you call’ human, bub?"
"We happen to be alternative life forms in search of cool tattoos and new hair colors not found in nature!"
"I guess birds of a feather really do flock together!"
-Nosedive, Thrash, Wildwing and Mook

"Man! Something tells me I just stepped into a big, fat trapola!"
-Nosedive

"What I wouldn’t give for a good flashback right now!"
-Nosedive

"What in the world of - Dracula’s Basement?!"
-Nosedive

"A giant duck?"
"Don’t start with me! I have had a seriously rough night!"
-Mayor Delaney and Nosedive

"Wow. Did this guy ever burn out on reentry!"
-Nosedive

"I’ll say this for old lizard-lips; he sure treats his fans well."
-Wildwing

"Way to go, baby bro!"
-Wildwing

"Now, this is a weird way to go; eaten by a surf and turf dinner!"
-Wildwing

"This is another fine mess you’ve gotten us into!"
-Praetorius

"This thing could have saved us a lot of trouble."
"Yeah, but it would have been a really boring show."
-Wildwing and Tanya

"Hey, Dive, I’m glad you’ve regained your faith in the human race."
"Hey, I’ll admit when I’m wrong. The human race, is ace!"
"Boobies! Check it out! I got you on the cover of Bird Watchers Monthly!"
"With a few exceptions, natch."
"Don’t worry about it, kid. We’re still not sure Phil actually is human."
-Duke, Nosedive and Phil

Jurassic Puck

"Well, whaddya know? Nosedive was right!"
-Tanya

"All right guys, go get ‘em!"
"You mean you actually want us to save the world?"
"Yeah! You guys fighting dinosaurs in the news? It’ll be a gold mine of free publicity!"
"Hey, Phil! Giant saurians attacking Anaheim can only mean one thing!"
"Yeah! A big fat movie sale! Production deals! Royalties! Merchandising! Go out there and get ‘em!"
-Phil, Duke and Mallory

"Great mother of Ducks!"
-Duke

"Hey, guys? Quick favor: Pick up my mail, water my plants… Oh, and one last thing - HELP!!!!"
-Nosedive

"When I saw that seismosaur… I just froze."
"Why?"
"I guess I have an irrational fear of fourty-tousand ton lizards!"
"We grow stronger by facing our fears."
"Hey! To face my fear I’d need a ladder!"
-Tanya, Duke and Grin

"Bro! You’re alive! Cool!"
-Nosedive

"Oh, faboo! I haven’t been in a life threatening situation for, oh… ten seconds!"
-Nosedive

"Jealous of the fun I was having?"
"I have evolved past jealousy."
-Duke and Grin

"So long guys. Gotta go now…"
-Tanya

"Duke! Duck!"
-Grin

"She has learned to face her fear."
"Yeah. Or she’s gone completely nuts."
-Grin and Duke